Do Not Concern Yourself With Praises or Insults
The brothers praised a monk before Abba Anthony. When the monk came to see him, Anthony wanted to know how he would bear insults; and seeing that he could not bear them at all, he said to him, ‘You are like a village magnificently decorated on the outside, but destroyed from within by robbers.’[1]
It is easy to put on a show for others. So many people live their life so as to fit in with others. They want to be liked, and they do what they think will make a good impression. Others make a living this way. They are charismatic. They seem to say the right things – but only because they say the things we want to hear. They seem to do the right thing – but they only do those things which they think will earn the accolades of their peers. They want a position of authority; they want to be respected, and they will do whatever it is they think will get them that respect. But their actions, their words do not ring true. There is no substance behind what they say; there is nothing inside themselves, inside their heart, which keeps their words and deeds united in any consistent fashion. They live and act in the world of appearances; normally this does them well, because few people know how to see beyond the realm of appearances, and look to the inner core behind the appearance, to see if the two are in accord with each other. We, like Anthony, must test those who come before us. Do they try to present themselves as spiritual or moral authorities? How do they act when such an authority is questioned? Those who have attained a high level of personal awareness will not need the praises of others; indeed, they will treat praises and insults as one and the same, dismissing both.
Of course, this lesson is important, not just in trying to discern the credibility of those who come before us, but also to test ourselves. How do we deal with others? Do we seek their praise, and let social pressures get the best of us? Can we remain cool and charitable to others when they insult us? This is an important question for those who read and write on blogs. As one who knows how easily annoyed I can be with others, I know I have a long way to go before. I know the ideal, and I know what I am to strive for. In many of my writings, I explain to others what it is that is needed, but in doing so, I am also reminding myself of what is right, hoping that by contemplating such themes, I will be able to integrate them better into my life. What is it that makes me lose my cool with others? Why do I feel the need to respond to the insults of others either with insults of my own, or with words trying to prop myself up, to make myself look better than those who criticize me?
While we should not engage false humility, humility guided by charity should be the way we engage others. “Do nothing from selfishness or conceit, but in humility count others better than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others” (Philip. 2:3-4). With a heart full of love for our neighbor, we will be charitable to them, even if they do not like us, and indeed, seek our harm. It is no good to show kindness to those who are kind to us; true Christian witness is showing kindness to those who show us malice:
You have heard that it was said, `You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you salute only your brethren, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? You, therefore, must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect (Matt 5:43-48).
When we are insulted, when we feel the sting of criticism upon us (whether or not it is just), how we react to the one insulting us shows us how close or far off we are from perfection. Jesus tells us we are to be perfect as God the Father is perfect, and he tells us this perfection is found in our treatment of others. God is insulted by us by our sin, and yet his love for us remains, and he seeks our good, despite our disregard for him. This is what it means to be perfect. While the saints often given us the example of a corpse, and how a corpse does not respond when insulted, Jesus gives us a greater example with his reference to God the Father because this shows us that our response is meant to be more than the lifeless response of the dead, but the response of one who is living, thriving, and full of love. This love is what is lost when the interior life is overcome by sin; this love is what is stolen from us by our inordinate passions. It is this love which we must attain if we want to have a life worthy of praise, not from men, but from Christ at the last judgment (cf. Matthew 25:31-46).
[1] The Sayings of the Desert Fathers. Trans. Benedicta Ward (Kalamazoo, MI: Cistercian Publications, 1984), 4.
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I’ve got the praises part down. Ego will flat out leave you in ruins. You cannot move me with the highest of praises, but insults, I need work on. It is not the ones that sting me personally, as I love those as I usually start looking into them to see if there is useful stuff I can find that might help improve either me or my work.
No it’s the ones that roll off the tongues of the arrogant and those who are full of themselves, or those who are blind to their own flaws or injustices. Those go right under my skin and my first compulsion is to grab the holes in their screeds and shred them to pieces.
That is not Christ-like at all, and I think points or ties to another flaw I have in following Christ, the old “turn the other cheek” deal.
“God the Father is perfect, and he tells us this perfection is found in our treatment of others.”
I know this brother I do, but I almost feel like if I park my sword these living “defects” in humanity will sit there and trod over those powerless to defend themselves. I know there is a higher justice, but apparently, I lack the patience to wait for God to resolve the gene pool.
I have prayed, I have confessed, but this particular defect of mine will not go away and you would think by my age I would have this down. I guess I am more entirely human than I would desire but either God has a purpose for my particular defect, or I am just not trying hard enough.
Another great post Henry, I need to hire you to move to my Parish, or you need to set up a 1-800 number so I do not have to wait till your next post.
Ah yes, that ole patience thing again, well i have it with women and children, and small animals:)
As I pointed out, I write these as one who struggles with the same issues, and so I speak of them as a fellow traveler, hoping to make it and to help keep all of us focused on the goal, especially myself.
You’re a big giant help there buddy:)
I comfort myself at times by the knowledge that Jesus himself blew a gasket a time or two over much the same thing.
Carpenters, what a rowdy lot.