On the Feast of St. Nicholas: Christmas and Consumerism
It is difficult to avoid Santa Claus at this time of year. Our two small boys are regularly asked by perfect strangers whether or not Santa is going to come to their house. But for those of us who insist that Christmas is really about the birth of Jesus Christ, this cultural emphasis on Santa and presents can be tough to navigate.
This year, for the first time, Flannery and I tried something we’ve heard from other Catholic families: we gave the lads some small gifts for the feast of St. Nicholas. Last night we read the story of St. Nicholas, bishop of Myra. We talked about gratitude and generosity and helping those in need. Then we put out our shoes. Lo and behold, in the morning each pair was atop a book and filled with chocolates. We hinted that it wasn’t St. Nick himself who had done the filling, but we didn’t come right out and say that we were responsible. We didn’t have the heart.
Our hope is that, from now until Christmas, when our kids are asked about Santa, they can say that he already came and that they’re waiting for Jesus.
As you may sense, we don’t feel like we’ve got this aced just yet. So, in our uncertainty, we’re wondering: how do other Christian families out there deal with Santa, St. Nicholas, and Jesus’ birthday? Should Christians encourage belief in a jolly old elf? Should they explicitly reject it? Something in between? How can we give our kids the sense of Christmas’ real meaning without crushing their spirits (or their classmates’) regarding Santa? How do we celebrate our holiday (our holy day), when the rest of the world is celebrating the cult of stuff?
Brett Salkeld is a doctoral student in theology at Regis College in Toronto. He is a father of two (so far) and husband of one.
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Awww, that is so cute Brett! You’re clearly taking a great step forward at a critical junction of the Catholic year to get the faith in your kids!!! Gotta do it properly now because males don’t usually come back to the Church until wedding time and that’s it (save raising kids and the quality of the education from parents is highly questionable after 2+ generations of watered down catechesis).
As for me personally, I just finally realized on my own that Santa didn’t really exist (the secualrized Coke(R) Santa) and I just got presents every Xmas eve.
Well if I ever get married and have kids, I’ll do it where on the first instance my kid(s) ask me if Santa is fake or not, I’ll give em the truth and read to them a good kids version or tell em real facts from a good source about St. Nicholas. So yes he will exist, but I’ll tell them how he exists in the Catholic Faith.
I told our older two children when they were relatively young (3 or 4) that there was no Santa Claus. We haven’t told our third child this, but we haven’t perpetuated the Santa myth on him either. There are no gifts under the tree from Santa. We are with relatives during Christmas, so they get gifts from them and know who they are from. When we come home, we give each of them a gift, always a small one except for one year, and they know the gifts are from us.
We tend not to celebrate holidays in our house. We have thrown birthday parties for the kids and now sleepovers for their birthdays. We have done advent calenders. Perhaps they associate Christmas with being spoiled by grandpas and grandmas. I’m not sure about this spirit of Christmas people discuss. Probably owing to my personal situation, I tend to associate the spirit with pretending to care about people we don’t care about the other 51 weeks of the year. That, and like Halloween, we get to see adults engage in the tomfoolery of putting wish lists together.
Addendum: I do think we stretch the idea of childhood grossly too far. Once the child is 7, they should know there is no such thing as Santa. Those who get grossly concerned about wanting to protect Santa past that point seem to be caring more about their own joy than their child’s well being. At the age of 7, children have attained the age of reason and need to be exercised in it.
As for the Santa thing: I think the exercise of imagination is wholesome, and really beneficial for young people, be they Christian or otherwise. I know children who are quite well aware that Santa is “pretend,” and that knowledge borrows nothing from their joy in or appreciation for the meaning of the season. Santa, to them, is like their imaginary ponies or friends; very real without being real.
I agree with Lizzy. I think the feast of St. Nicholas is a beautiful way to share the origin of this figure that was known for generosity and good will.I love the ritual of putting out the shoes, I’d like to use that one. However, cultivating imagination is wholesome and I don’t know that it is fair to say that one age or another age is appropriate for that cultivation to cease.Every child matures and progresses at a different pace. Children can attain the age of reason, excercise it, and still excercise their imaginations. If you are raising your children in a healthy, balanced, faith-focused environment, they should be able to see the main focus of Christmas as Christ, while acknowledging the spirit of Christmas and its wonder at the same time.
We always give the kids little gifts from St. Nick on th 6th, but not on Christmas. I grew up with “Santa Claus”, but have decided to be a bit more traditional with the kids; I don’t think the “tradition” of St. Nick giving gifts on Christmas is that old. We don’t lie to the kids though. That would be a sin.
Talking with the Mrs. I’m reminded of something. If you want to claim to celebrate a Saint, you should probably at least make an effort to go to mass on the feast day. If your community wants to claim to celebrate a Saint, they should actually offer an extra mass to better accommodate people wishing to celebrate mass. St. Nick’s day is starting to sound like St. Patrick’s day without the pretense of community.
Lizzy’s post reminded of the Letters to Father Christmas, that Tolkien would write to his children.
True, the current commercialization of Christmas, emphasis on gifts, secularization of the holiday, saturation of all things Santa, etc., is a big problem. On the other hand, I agree with Lizzy that imagination is wholesome (see Tolkien). I don’t have kids, so I don’t exactly know how I would approach the Santa question. But I suppose that I would emphasize to my children that Santa is another name of St. Nicholas (see Sinterklaas), and that Santa is someone who acts in honor of Jesus’s birthday and who is always reminding us and pointing us to Jesus.
We allow Santa (who we usually call St. Nick or St. Nicholas) to bring 3 gifts on Christmas to each of our four children, and fill the stocking. They can ask for 2 gifts — the 3rd is a surprise. My wife and I also observe the 3 gift rule, but for us, the 3 gifts must reflect the following in line with the gifts of the Magi:
1) A gift of value (i.e., value in general or valuable to the person — gold)
2) A gift for the body (i.e., something to be worn or to promote health — since myrrh was a balm)
3) A gift for the spirit (i.e., something for the person’s spiritual well-being — since frankincense signifies the Spirit’s presence)
As the kids get older, we will transition their 3 gifts to the same structure. I read this in a Catholic parenting magazine years ago and we’ve been pretty steady in observing it for the last 5 or so yrs. We also do the box under the tree where the kids must write their good deeds down on strips of construction paper “straw” to make a bed for the arrival of the Christ child (i.e., a baby doll) on Christmas morning.
I see absolutely nothing wrong with Santa Claus. I never came out and told my kids there is no Santa. I am sure the 16 year old has figured it out, but he will never admit it, and my 13 year old is happy to keep pretending. My 18 year old son, who has Down Syndrome, probably still believes in Santa: after all, every Christmas there is a note from Santa, and he has eaten all the cookies my son left out! (Uurp!!) There are still presents from Santa, and candy in their shoes on St. Nicolas day (as well as on Three Holy Kings Day in January).
We have always been very concerned about consumerism and making sure they know this is a religious holiday; midnight mass and morning mass on Xmas day have always been part of the tradition. We tackle consumerism head on: Santa gifts, like all their gifts, are restrained, and we make a point of describing how little we spend as a family compared to the average American family (which spends about $2,000 a year on Christmas presents). The biggest shopping trip is for the giving tree at Church.
I grew up with Santa and had a big fight with an older sister upon learning the truth. Like a lot of families, my folks had a pretty convincing charade with Santa, the Tooth Fairy, and theEaster Bunny going for a while.
As someone who left the faith and returned some twenty years later, I realize I had developed a sense somewhere along the way that Santa, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny were childish nonsense I fell for, and when I got old enough, I rejected them, along with Guardian Angels, the Communion of Saints, and an authoritative Church.
After rediscovering that the Truth was actually True, (doggone it), we have deliberately built truth upon truth with raising our ten kids. We found there is still plenty of wonder and imagination in the real, true observances, traditions and celebrations of Christmas, Easter, etc. without resorting to setting up elaborate lies to our children.
And they’re going to need to know we’ve always leveled with them as time goes on.
hmmm lies?
I agree with Katie. I wouldn’t necessarily categorize it as lies. I don’t think there’s any intent to deceive. Rather, it’s a participation in a fantasy, similar to what you’d do when you have a tea party with your three year old and her imaginary friends. I agree with the above poster that mentioned that you can have Santa without actually trying to convince your children that he’s real. As long as Christ is the clear centerpiece of Christmas, you’ll be fine.
Umm, okay. I called the story of Santa secretly coming down the chimney a lie, but it’s not necessary to call it that. Perhaps “false narrative” has a less sinister connotation.
Of course I realize many nice people go through a great deal of effort to support this false narrative, even surrounding it with evidence, such as taking the kids to see Santa at the mall to tell him what they want, elaborate hiding places for gifts, using a variety of wrapping papers, and even a cookie which on Christmas morning has a mysterious bite taken out of it. Then they remind junior that it’s “really” about Jesus’ birthday. Well okay, but you have to admit there are some mixed messages in there.
And as Brett observed, even total strangers reinforce to our children the “story” of having Santa secretly enter our home while we sleep, place packages in our living room and stockings and then leave.
It is my view that, in its effort to sweeten Christmas, the false narrative of Santa’s visit for young children adds a very attractive layer of consumerism and materialism and it often corrupts the true narrative of the Incarnation; that out of love, God became one of us in order to save us from our sins. And not just one of us, but a tiny, helpless baby in a very, very difficult time and place. And God came so He Himelf could be the Lamb, the sacrifice, which would enable us to return to Him.
The false narrative of Santa secretly coming into the house is simply unnecessary. The strong attraction with its lists and toys and treats is enormously promoted and hard to wean kids off of.
The narrative of Saint Nicholas of Myra on December 6 has the benefit of being true and expains, even to young children, the real and holy man in whose name the sidetrack of commercials and toy-mania are promoted.
I understand this might qualify me for membership in the lunatic fringe. But it does work for my family.
You are not a lunatic. I think your view is sound and true in many ways.It is hard to wean kids off of lists and toys and treats. If the tradition of Santa Claus, Pere Noel, Sinter Klaas, or whatever part of the world you may be in, is taken to the extreme, then yes- it will be difficult. However, we, not the world, have the choice and influence on how to present traditions, practices, cultures, art, myths, legends, and facts to our children.Yes, in America, we do have to work even harder to preserve that healthy balance between this world in the next,to live in the world and not of it.
If it works for your family to eliminate a global tradition for fear of mixed messages and corruption of the Incarnation message, then you should continue. But, unless I am convinced otherwise, I hope I can share the message of St. Nicholas,Babbo Natale, or Hagios Nikolaos with my children. I also hope, from the first week of Advent to Epiphany, they are joyfully aware of that tiny helpless baby born in a manger to one day be consumed as Bread for the world.
Well said.
Although it is a couple years old, I would like to highlight this quick post: http://vox-nova.com/2008/11/30/yes-blackadder-there-is-a-santa/
that is awesome!!!
Thanks for sharing this very encouraging experience. These rituals of coming together as parents with our children in a spirit of faith and prayer profoundly shape our children and families. I believe these sacred moments remain rooted deep within our little ones. These experiences will be drawn on when our kids stray, and have the potential to be passed on in some form through them and their children over successive generations. And this is really beautiful – you are sowing the seeds of a Christ-centered worldview that will help transform the culture of your children and their children. That’s what Christian parenting’s all about.
A blessed Advent and Christmas to you.
TonyC