I Think This Will Be “Prophetic”
July 31, 2009
I found the wedding dance entrance more than merely tacky, but indicative of a couple who were into themselves, and not each other. I know others might disagree with me, but, when one tries to make a show out of something holy, and put the focus on themselves as the entrance did, that to me that shows something unholy tagging along. Love should not put the focus on oneself.
So I find this video to express what I believe will happen. I hope I’m wrong, but with society today, I doubt it…
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If you can’t show reverence in a church on your own wedding day, then what’s the point?
I think they blew it with the “Just Kidding” tag at the end.
Otherwise, very clever. The original video makes a mockery of religion by being staged in a real church, so why not make a mockery of the law by staging the spoof in a real courtroom?
I think they had to do the “just joking” at the end for various PC reasons, but otherwise, I think the video does a good job showing the problem behind the “wedding.” Even if they didn’t want to push it, the joke is good because it is pointing to a truth.
My wife and I watched that parody last night. We had the exact same thoughts.
I’m somewhat conflicted about how bad the wedding was. Joylessness isn’t a virtue.
It’s not joyless to denounce a wedding which is about self-glorification instead of self-giving; it is actually a mockery of real joy.
Eighteen years ago, a close friend got married. One year later, his wife started dating other men. Before long, she filed for divorce. Both were Catholic.
He asked me for help. I introduced him to a Dominican priest and counseled him along the way.
After he and his wife went their separate ways, he asked: “What did you REALLY think when Laura and I got married?” I replied: “I thought it was a good business arrangement!”
Like my friend, the couple in the above video will soon become a statistic.
It ain’t just devoted Catholics that have 50-year anniversaries. My grandparents just have their 65th, the product of a Catholic/Lutheran nuptial. I have seen enough stories of people with 4+ children getting divorced that I have difficulty seeing seriousness as an antidote. I’m not bothered so much by speculation that the marriage may not last as much as I’m bothered by the certitude that this is sure evidence that it will.
Some people may just have exceptionally bad taste.
My first reaction was something like BA’s, but I think you have to ask yourself why the video is so popular. To me, after you get past the initial shock of “irreverence,” there is something joyful and even touching about the video.
Snoopy said, “To live is to dance, to dance is to live.” There is something very human about expressing joy through dancing, and I doubt that God is offended by people dancing in church. Now that I think about it, I wonder why dance is so little a part of Western religion. Few people sing really well, and yet there is a lot of singing in church. So it’s not an issue of lack of good dancers.
I don’t see why dancing in church is about “self-glorification rather than self-giving.” Dance is a cooperative, communal activity. I am not sure we should be scandalized by people throwing themselves into their wedding (almost literally) rather than being passive participants. The amateurishness of the performances and the impromptu nature of it indicate to me it was something close to a spontaneous expression of joy. If they had rehearsed and rehearsed to make it a “show,” that would be quite different.
When was the last time any of the people here danced? Maybe you are all out of touch with your inner Snoopy.
Wow, are your undies too tight? David Nichol is right, let some joy in!
Psalm 150
Praise the Lord! Praise God in his sanctuary; praise him in his mighty firmament!
Praise him for his mighty deeds; praise him according to his surpassing greatness!
Praise him with trumpet sound; praise him with lute and harp!
Praise him with tambourine and dance; praise him with strings and pipe!
Praise him with clanging cymbals; praise him with loud clashing cymbals!
Let everything that breathes praise the Lord! Praise the Lord!
David,
Weddings typically do involve dancing . . . at the reception.
I’ve been to my fair share of weddings. They tend to be joyous occasions despite the fact that I’ve never seen a bride getting her grove on while going down the aisle.
David:
That was most definitely rehearsed. There’s nothing “spontaneous” about it. They each had their cues.
To me, after you get past the initial shock of “irreverence,”
I didn’t get past it-at least I made sure it wasn’t a Catholic Church.
Anyway, the idea of this being joy isn’t tenable. I think there’s a big difference between joy and silliness and this was clearly the latter.
Finally, I think there’s something to be said about joy within sobriety. Marriage is a joyful occasion but it’s also a very serious one. I even get annoyed with being stupid at the receptions, but I can take that-the marriage rite itself is a different matter.
In fact, the marriage right is sacred and sacred means “set aside.” That means that there are certain decorums and respects that ought to paid to something that is “set aside.” Dancing up the aisle to a hip hop song is not treating marriage as sacred.
Futhermore, I think most people can recognize that they danced not as an expression of joy but to get attention. What a terrible motive in a marriage, particularly when the focus ought to be on God.
Didn’t David dance half-naked in praise of the Lord, and receive criticism for it?
Didn’t David dance half-naked in praise of the Lord, and receive criticism for it?
I got a lot of compliments. This is the first I’m hearing about any criticism.
That was most definitely rehearsed. There’s nothing “spontaneous” about it. They each had their cues.
Michael,
I saw the bride and groom on the Today show, and they said there had been only one rehearsal, and that it had been a matter of giving people an idea of what they wanted them to do rather than a matter of elaborate choreography.
I didn’t say it wasn’t rehearsed, and I didn’t say it was spontaneous. I said, “If they had rehearsed and rehearsed to make it a “show,” that would be quite different.” And I said, “The amateurishness of the performances and the impromptu nature of it indicate to me it was something close to a spontaneous expression of joy.”
I am sure others will agree with me that it’s very frustrating to write a carefully worded, nuanced message, and the be criticized for a caricature of what you have said. (Even when the topic is trivial!)
I didn’t get past it-at least I made sure it wasn’t a Catholic Church.
Yes, we know that Protestant denominations “cannot, according to Catholic doctrine, be called ‘Churches’ in the proper sense,” so I don’t know what the fuss is regarding “irreverence.” The presiding minister was a woman, who couldn’t be ordained even if she belonged to a real Church, so the whole thing would have been a sham anyway, no matter how reverent they had been.
David:
I didn’t mean to mis-characterize you, and I apologize if I did but I don’t think I did. The reason I say that is that it seemed to me that your argument rests on an idea of joy so tremendous that the body responds and does so in dance. This of course can’t really be scripted.
While I’m sure that they didn’t plan the exact moves, allowing for some improve, it’s enough of a script and plan to prevent me from looking at it as an expression of joy. It looked they were having, sure enough, but I do the same thing when I dance and something stupid/silly (which according to my fiance is every dance move I’ve ever made!)
A more detailed conversation, perhaps:
http://catholicsensibility.wordpress.com/2009/07/25/dancing-down-the-aisle/
Liam,
Well, you know my view from that discussion; but I thought this new video hinted at the facts in a way which doesn’t require one to be Catholic.
Didn’t David dance half-naked in praise of the Lord, and receive criticism for it?
Yes he did, but he didn’t do it in church; he was outside.
Henry
Of course. I just thought people might like the digression about what joy really is in that other discussion. It’s something that I think many Americans misunderstand, Christian and Catholic.
I will here omit a tangential rant about the common failure of pastors (Catholic and Protestant, at least) to equip their flock to engage with the reality of spiritual dryness and related states. To me, this is at the root of much spiritual shallowness in this land.
Liam
*nod* it was a good discussion — and I think it answered the issue of David dancing/joy, too.
Don’t get me on the issue of spiritual dryness. For some, it’s all they get — one long dark night of the soul. It burdens them more when people tell them about their “lack of joy.”
David didn’t simply dance outside: “David, wearing a linen ephod, danced before the LORD with all his might,” (2 Sam 6:14).
Nate
Which was a quite different thing than seen in the marriage video; there, they danced for the crowds.
Henry
You get it. Blessings.