(This was first posted on my personal blog)
I have been thinking a lot lately about spiritual blindness especially after my January retreat experience. There is so much more that I have not completely told you and I think it is because I am grappling with how to communicate it and also, for myself, trying to understand what it all means.
For me, the most humbling realization from my Encounter was that everything that I thought I knew I really didn’t. I learned my judgment is just plain wrong. Beginning with the Sister who I thought was off for over 6 years. I thought she was one of those kooky, non-habited nuns and I didn’t want anything to do with her. And in only a few, very short, seconds in prayer, the Lord revealed her to me and showed me WHY she is so odd. And I had to call her and apologize.
There were a couple others who were revealed and, again, the knowledge I received in prayer doesn’t match my judgment. The problem with human judgment is that we do not have the full information. We only judge usually on what we see.
Scripture is FULL of warnings against judging others based on what we see and, yet, we cannot help but do it. There is a group within the local Church who DRIVES ME CRAZY! As much I would love to say they are plain wrong, there is a part of me that seriously hesitates making any conclusions. I am learning to take my frustrations to the Lord and to ask Him to allow me to see how He sees.
The other lesson I learned is that so much of my time that I spent worrying about Church issues is a waste. It is not that it is not completely important, it is that it is LESS important than what really matters. Honestly, I used to read the section in Scripture on Mary & Martha with frustration. Every homemaker knows how much labor and hard work goes into hosting a dinner for a special guest. We can only imagine those preparations were more arduous back in Biblical times. And there is Martha working her butt off for Our Lord with VERY little help and, yet, does Jesus “side” with her? No. No, instead he tells her that Mary has chosen the best. That section used to drive me crazy. I used to think “Lord, you sure do not know how to show your appreciation for people who love you like Martha loved you!” Martha LIVED for her Lord, yet she still didn’t “get it.” Her work was good. But it was less than what she could have done and seen.